Yuo mihgt laern soemthnig...

Late (to me) breaking news:
(Tip o' the "-do rag" to Josh)

«HOOEY» COMES CLEAN!

Relax. There is nothing wrong with your computer! Nor has this site been hacked. It's simply time to put this baby to bed. It's been a fun trip, but after 10,000 hits it's time to move on to other things.
That's right. In case anyone is still wondering, this is satire! (You nailed it, Hawkeye!) I am not a 21 year-old, dope-smoking, spellingly challenged, shallow, left-wing looney, Ivy League legacy brat. No, I'm a 45-year old father of two great daughters who has been a conservative since high school - before I could even vote! I'm a product of the Catholic School System where I received a conservative education. Thank God I wasn't subjected to public school. (Josh Fahrni, your parents are so right to home-school you!) I never tried weed, even non-inhaling. Oh, and yes I can spell!
Why start this blog? Well, back in 2004, I was surfing the net, reading various blogs. Running across some lefty blog, DU I think it was, I decided to have a little fun. I came up with this blithering blather about passive survival and how we need to talk to Usama binLaden and building a mosque at Ground Zero. I wanted to see what reaction I got from the lefties. Only problem is, you have to register at DU and many other lefty sites. I didn't want to do that because I knew someone that did it and kept getting spammed. What to do? So finally I decided to post it on a conservative blog, ScrappleFace, and let everyone beat up the lib. I chose the name, «Howie», because it just sounded like a whiny, sanctimonious liberal weenie. (Apologies to any Howards or Howells out there!)
Howie soon became a created character with a personality. Howie is arrogant, whiny, a know-it-all; he's shallow. Howie's «knowledge» is all by rote. It's all su[pe]rficial; he has his lefty views but he really hasn't a clue why. Howie doesn't believe, he «feels». When challenged on his views he doesn't defend them, he falls back on, «Presemt a neocon wiht the facts abd the tuth and recieve an ad-nominem pesonal attack in returm». His spelling is right out of public school. Oh, and Howie uses these irritating «European» quotation marks.
After the 2004 election, I decided that Howie needs a blog of his own. I looked at Typepad, but they charge; Howie was not that important to become another bill for me to pay. Finally, this past spring, I discovered Blogger and, after being urged by dean04prez to"totaly start a blog of you're own", I started this blog.
Building upon Howie's arrogance, I started comment-spamming blogs on both the right and the left. You know, "Nice blog..." This got me traffic. I got conservatives who were angry at this lib brat spamming their site; I got libs, many of whom were totally supportive of Howie's views, no matter how extreme. And I deliberately pushed the envelope on that, too. Some of the libs seemed like sincere people who just had the wrong views; nonetheless they were sincere. Others were the type where you just want to take a shower after visiting their site. I found a veritable ocean of great conservative blogs. Camojack, Josh, Beerme, many others. (See sideboard.) Sorry about the stupid comments, guys.
The puppet face. About that. There's a reason. That puppet was called Dorshock and it was on The Sandy Becker Show, a New York kids' show from the 50s and 60s that I used to watch. Dorshock's entire vocabulary was, "blah, blah, blah, blah." Suits Howie doesn't it.
So, time to put Howie away. I haven't decided whether to stay on as a conservative blog, or to shut down, but it's been fun, especially reading the great responses to Howie everyone has posted!
A big thank you goes out to the great Scott Ott of ScrappleFace and Professym Lawrence "Liberal Larry" Chomstein of BlameBush for inspiration for this project.

vignetted by hooey @ 7:07 PM Saturday, August 06, 2005

I'll refrain from saying "I told you so"...