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Uncommonly Sensible

Keeping the "anal" in analytical... (While trying to remain civilized)

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Location: United States

Friday, August 12, 2005

Yuo mihgt laern soemthnig...

Late (to me) breaking news:
(Tip o' the "-do rag" to Josh)


Relax. There is nothing wrong with your computer! Nor has this site been hacked. It's simply time to put this baby to bed. It's been a fun trip, but after 10,000 hits it's time to move on to other things.
That's right. In case anyone is still wondering, this is satire! (You nailed it, Hawkeye!) I am not a 21 year-old, dope-smoking, spellingly challenged, shallow, left-wing looney, Ivy League legacy brat. No, I'm a 45-year old father of two great daughters who has been a conservative since high school - before I could even vote! I'm a product of the Catholic School System where I received a conservative education. Thank God I wasn't subjected to public school. (Josh Fahrni, your parents are so right to home-school you!) I never tried weed, even non-inhaling. Oh, and yes I can spell!
Why start this blog? Well, back in 2004, I was surfing the net, reading various blogs. Running across some lefty blog, DU I think it was, I decided to have a little fun. I came up with this blithering blather about passive survival and how we need to talk to Usama binLaden and building a mosque at Ground Zero. I wanted to see what reaction I got from the lefties. Only problem is, you have to register at DU and many other lefty sites. I didn't want to do that because I knew someone that did it and kept getting spammed. What to do? So finally I decided to post it on a conservative blog, ScrappleFace, and let everyone beat up the lib. I chose the name, «Howie», because it just sounded like a whiny, sanctimonious liberal weenie. (Apologies to any Howards or Howells out there!)
Howie soon became a created character with a personality. Howie is arrogant, whiny, a know-it-all; he's shallow. Howie's «knowledge» is all by rote. It's all su[pe]rficial; he has his lefty views but he really hasn't a clue why. Howie doesn't believe, he «feels». When challenged on his views he doesn't defend them, he falls back on, «Presemt a neocon wiht the facts abd the tuth and recieve an ad-nominem pesonal attack in returm». His spelling is right out of public school. Oh, and Howie uses these irritating «European» quotation marks.
After the 2004 election, I decided that Howie needs a blog of his own. I looked at Typepad, but they charge; Howie was not that important to become another bill for me to pay. Finally, this past spring, I discovered Blogger and, after being urged by dean04prez to"totaly start a blog of you're own", I started this blog.
Building upon Howie's arrogance, I started comment-spamming blogs on both the right and the left. You know, "Nice blog..." This got me traffic. I got conservatives who were angry at this lib brat spamming their site; I got libs, many of whom were totally supportive of Howie's views, no matter how extreme. And I deliberately pushed the envelope on that, too. Some of the libs seemed like sincere people who just had the wrong views; nonetheless they were sincere. Others were the type where you just want to take a shower after visiting their site. I found a veritable ocean of great conservative blogs. Camojack, Josh, Beerme, many others. (See sideboard.) Sorry about the stupid comments, guys.
The puppet face. About that. There's a reason. That puppet was called Dorshock and it was on The Sandy Becker Show, a New York kids' show from the 50s and 60s that I used to watch. Dorshock's entire vocabulary was, "blah, blah, blah, blah." Suits Howie doesn't it.
So, time to put Howie away. I haven't decided whether to stay on as a conservative blog, or to shut down, but it's been fun, especially reading the great responses to Howie everyone has posted!
A big thank you goes out to the great Scott Ott of ScrappleFace and Professym Lawrence "Liberal Larry" Chomstein of BlameBush for inspiration for this project.

vignetted by hooey @ 7:07 PM Saturday, August 06, 2005

I'll refrain from saying "I told you so"...


Blogger Josh Fahrni said...

Why'd you tip anything to me camo, you're the man lmao.

It's awesome aint it?

August 12, 2005 8:21 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

Why tip anything to you? Simply because, my friend, I found out at your blog...and fair's fair.

You may recall that I was never convinced that "howie" wasn't a parody.

But it was definitely a well-played farce...

August 12, 2005 8:51 AM  
Blogger Josh Fahrni said...

Yup, I do remember. I think everyone had their suspicions, but it was great ammo for our arsenals. I personally loved calling him on his bullshit lol. It was easy, but it was fun. By the way Camo...I'm honored that you'd look at my blog before howies...I think I could tear up. :-P Thanks man. Can't wait to see the next post.

August 12, 2005 9:06 AM  
Blogger Josh Fahrni said...

On another note...I haven't been to sleep and it's...7am...spelling comes less than well.

August 12, 2005 9:07 AM  
Blogger MargeinMI said...

Whew! Now that picture doesn't scare me anymore. Thanks for that. Unfortunately, there really ARE 'howies' out there still. :o(

August 12, 2005 9:13 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

Get some sleep. BTW, I'll let it go this time, but I generally enforce a strict ban on foul language.
(FYI, you can use "B.S.", tho')

I'm only too happy to help...

August 12, 2005 9:27 AM  
Blogger JannyMae said...

Ahem. I'm not sure what to say. I thought all along that Howie couldn't be real, but then I'd read something from a REAL Howie on DU, or somewhere, and wonder.

On the other hand, he has been becoming increasingly EXTREME of late, and consequently, more obvious. After some of his recent posts on Larry's site, I found myself hoping he was, indeed, a parody, 'cause he was getting downright weird!

August 12, 2005 10:22 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

Like I said, it was a well-played farce; it very nearly convinced me, too...which is why I had proposed getting together with him to discuss his views, to see if he was serious or not. Now we know...

August 12, 2005 10:49 AM  
Blogger JR said...

  Sorry, I thought you were sitting above it all looking down in shock... I should have hit you with an Email...
  The Plausible Deniability… Was Cool…

August 12, 2005 11:29 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

In shock, me? Whatever for?! I've said many times that I doubted he was serious.

I have only been lurking over there of late, because some of the commenters were getting pretty foul, and I didn't want to have to clean up whatever they might drag back here if'n I did comment. Haven't even been doing that much lurking for the same reason. Now, however, I added a link to there from here; I had one before, but then he put up a rather raunchy link about my heart-throb Ann Coulter, so I removed it...and by the time he took it off of there, the commenters took over in the raunchy department.

The part of the whole thing I find the most amusing is the inevitable disappointment of his faithful devotees.

Like the credit card ad says: Priceless!!!

August 12, 2005 11:51 AM  
Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Garsh! I don't know whether to be happy or sad or amused or proud or what. There is definitely some satisfaction in being named first in Howie's (i.e., Hooey's) confession. But then... he was so fun to make fun of, wasn't he?

I mean... it's sorta like the end of an era. In a way, I hope it's not my fault that I may be depriving others of Howie.... WHAT THE HECK AM I SAYING?????

Howie... or, whatever your name is... come back from the Dark Side. If you want to do satire, then go for it. But PLEASE... try not to be so darn REALIATIC. (Frankly, it's frightening).


August 12, 2005 2:44 PM  
Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Uhhh.... REALITIC is (anal)ytic for REALISTIC.

August 12, 2005 2:48 PM  
Blogger Hawkeye® said...

Uhhh... REALITIC is really REALIATIC.

OHHHH!!! You know what I mean!

August 12, 2005 2:49 PM  
Blogger hooey said...


Thanks for the link. And the feature thread. Hey, sorry about the rotten Ann Coulter link. I had that up briefly on my "progressive" blogroll, however I happen to be a fan of hers (Laura Ingraham too!) and that site was just too disgusting for me, so it had to come down.

August 12, 2005 4:14 PM  
Blogger hooey said...

As you know I have replaced the puppet face with the RNC Elephant. I've noticed that on some of my older posts, the Elephant is replacing the puppet face. It'll be hysterical when some of these lib bloggers log on expecting the «Progessive puppet» and find my new logo instead! Mot to mention all the libs who linked my site.

August 12, 2005 4:21 PM  
Blogger hooey said...

Not to mention. Sorry.

August 12, 2005 4:22 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

Well, well, well.
And you were so keen to meet up with him for drinks, Camo!
Priceless indeed!!

Satire = "trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm."

On "Howie"? Forget it!

August 12, 2005 4:38 PM  
Blogger RAM said...

Thanks for the "heads up" howie (hooey)! I have to admit you had me fooled. In my defense though, I really think there are people out there MORE extreme than howie was!

This will give me the extra needed time to go after the other left-wing loonies. I would name them but they are TOO many to mention.

There are only so many hours in the day for "The Republican Attack Machine"!

P.S. Is it possible that gore, moore, and dean are putting us on too? ;-)

August 12, 2005 4:51 PM  
Blogger RAM said...

truth is freedom: As I remember, YOU were quick to come to howie's defense after Camo's comment.

Get that "log" out of your eye BEFORE you point at Camojack's "speck" in his. ;-)

He fooled you too, just as hillary, dean, and michael moron are doing to YOU right now.

August 12, 2005 4:55 PM  
Blogger Kajun said...

Do ya'll realy belive this balloney?

Howie's just messin with your mines.

A leperd doesn't change its spot s!! aand a dumy doe'snt turn into a elephant!!

August 12, 2005 5:47 PM  
Blogger 'da Bunny said...

Sooo...has "hooey" gone kaplooey, or is this all just phooey? I don't know what to think...

August 12, 2005 7:13 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

"just as hillary, dean, and michael moron are doing to YOU right now"

ram: could you get it into your head that I'm not an American and I don't either know or care tuppence who you're talking about? Thanks!

[BTW, millions of non-Americans use the internet, in case you didn't know that either.]

August 12, 2005 10:10 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

While somewhat "over the top" at times, I'd have to say you were no more so than the real thing can be at times. Again, well played! And if you're interested, we can still get together for a discussion and drinks sometime. FWIW, I think you should keep doing satire...

As you can see above, I still wouldn't mind meeting him for drinks. But he sure took you in, huh? BTW, I checked some of his back threads, and see that you mentioned me more than once...are you obsessed avec moi, or something?!

You're quite welcome, mon ami. don't let it bother you about being taken in; you were certainly not the only one, from both sides of the equation.

Do I believe this? Absolutely. I was never convinced it wasn't so. Feel free to check back threads here and elsewhere for my comments to that effect.

'da Bunny:
I hope he continues his fine work, parodying nitwits...

August 12, 2005 10:14 PM  
Blogger RAM said...

truth_is_freedom: I don't remember saying you were an American. Most of the people you emulate are not American either.

Funny, you did not answer my statement that howie fooled you too.

Frankly, your profile doesn't tell us much about you, not that any of us want to know much about you.

American, phrench, Germanian, England, or where ever you are from, fact is, a left-wing loonie is just that, a left-wing loonie.

August 13, 2005 1:05 AM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

"Most of the people you emulate are not American either"

ram: what in the name of Gaia does that mean?

And so what if I defended Howie? That doesn't make it a witty blog. Satire it wasn't.

Camo: Yes, I'm madly in love with you. You're a bit slow on the uptake.
Bwahahahaha! (to quote Jannymae and momto10 and all the other intellectuals)

Have a nice weekend, folks.

August 13, 2005 9:19 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

Camo: Yes, I'm madly in love with you. You're a bit slow on the uptake.

I'm flattered...but are you an XX type or an XY type?
(Your profile is sadly lacking in any details)

It may be discriminatory of me, but I only go for XX types...

August 13, 2005 10:32 AM  
Blogger Josh Fahrni said...

Camo...love it no matter what.

August 13, 2005 11:08 AM  
Blogger camojack said...

Of course; but there are many kinds of love...

The kind being referred to was the "madly in love" variety, though...and for that type I have very discriminating tastes.

August 13, 2005 12:15 PM  
Blogger Josh Fahrni said...


If howie was still howie, he'd call you A Republican Bigot.


August 13, 2005 1:09 PM  
Blogger JannyMae said...

Yes, Truth is Freedom, you must be so proud for having defended, "Howie," no matter how extreme his views became. Who is the, "intellectual?"

Since you obviously have used numerous names over on Howie's blog, I can only presume which posts are yours. I did take note, however, before I quit posting there, that you had a marked propensity to ignore the facts, and spew talking points, just like, "Howie."

Who is NOT the, "intellectual?"

I don't believe it's the person whose sole method of refuting anything I had to say was to call me a, "twit."

August 13, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

I'll just have to find a way to live with my bad self... :-)

August 13, 2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

It must have been embarrassing for certain people who posted regularly at "howie's" blog to find out they'd been had.
(I find it quite amusing, personally)

I have to agree with you about the spewing of talking points; it does get Rather tiresome, Rather quickly...

August 13, 2005 1:21 PM  
Blogger JannyMae said...

Yes, well it's amusing to me, as well, although it was amusing to me all along that people would defend someone as extreme as, "howie," just because they thought he was on, "their side."

Your humor is Rather subtle, but I get it, Camojack. :D

August 13, 2005 2:18 PM  
Blogger Josh Fahrni said...

Yeah, I read this earlier, and was gonna comment, but I decided I'd Rather wait, and make sure I wasn't crazy. I just wanted to make sure I got all the facts right, Rather than coming out with something stupid, and sounding like an idiot.

And that's part of our world.

August 13, 2005 2:46 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

"It must have been embarrassing for certain people who posted regularly at 'howie's' blog to find out they'd been had"

Come on, Camo! You posted regularly there. Own up!

I think, people, you'll find that I didn't defend the precise content of "Howie"'s posts. I did and do defend his right to post whatever he likes. What I did 99% of the time was argue with the comments of others.

Jannymae says: "I can only presume which posts are yours. I did take note, however, before I quit posting there, that you had a marked propensity to ignore the facts"

You DON'T KNOW which posts are mine but I have a marked propensity to ignore the facts????
God help America.

No, Camo, I'm not a bloke.
And my Spanish is not as good as yours. But I reckon my French is better.

And my hors d'oeuvres. ;)

August 13, 2005 9:02 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

As I said previously, "howie" was no more extreme than the real thing can be at times, so it's easy to understand why folks thought he was serious.

It's Rather simple, once you get the hang of it...

I invite you to go back to before "howie" outed himself, to see just how long it's actually been since I posted there...dear.

August 13, 2005 11:19 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

LOL ...

You're all embarrassed as hell and afraid to admit it.

Me, I'm having a great day, and I hope y'all are too. Life's too short to worry about Howie versus Hooey. Shine on ... ye bright lights of the Project for the New American Century!

August 14, 2005 9:25 AM  
Blogger SGT USMC 1ea said...

Your troll is pretty neat. I envy you for being able to attract one that is arrogant, sometimes amusing and totally oblivious to facts.
Facts like:
-Conservative posters who posted on howies blog did so merely to refute obviously flawed and moronic arguments.
-Lib posters at howies blog posted in support of arguments the author knew were silly, emotion based, nonfactual, obviously flawed and moronic lib talking points.
-The authors main points were to give conservatives somebody very simple to bash, make liberals look foolish for agreeing with points like "we need to dialogue with Osama", and provide comic relief by overstating the fringe elements obvious logical endpoints on compromise with madmen. To his surprise he found real support from this lunatic fringe depsite how far out and stupid he attempted to make his lib talking points.

I conclude therefore that it is not a matter of who was fooled or not, but merely a matter of the authors intent which was wonderfully fullfilled. Conservatives bashed the easy target as intended and liberals were made to look foolish for defending the indefisible.

No matter how much your troll tries to redefine the argument as you were fooled too (which most of us were not past a certain point) we all know who truly has had their ridiculous views exposed.

By the way I think my French is better than your Trolls. Not that I am proud of that since France is a marginalized semi-socialist nightmare of a declining nation. I gaurantee my German, Japanese, Farsi, Russian, Italian and Latin are better. My English though is probably worse since in reviewing my post I see that I mispelt despite, fulfilled and indefensible.

Deus est Semper Fidelis

August 14, 2005 1:11 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

Yes, I seem to get a lot of "copy & paste" talking points from that quarter about such nonsensical things as the infamous Downing Street Memo ("fixed around the policy", oh my!), Guantanamo (book abuse; how horrid!!!), etc. But it makes for some interesting discourse sometimes.

You know, as I do, that some of us questioned "howie's" veracity, but denial ain't no river in Africa.

Just to check myself, I reviewed some of my recent comments for evidence of my having questioned whether or not "howie" was for real; I didn't have to go too far...a couple of examples can be found in the comment on my Sunday, July 24, 2005 post: comment made July 26, 2005 1:15 PM and my Friday, July 08, 2005 post: comment made July 09, 2005 2:25 PM. Also at Josh's blog on the Friday, July 15, 2005 post: comment made 7/21/2005 8:57 PM.

But, whatever. I made stronger allegations than those at other times, but it really isn't worth the time/effort to track 'em down; I know what I said, as do you, and others.

I still find the whole thing amusing...

August 14, 2005 2:50 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...

tsk tsk
Can't stop scratching the itch?

August 14, 2005 4:26 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

I think you've become my favorite "itch".

August 14, 2005 6:58 PM  
Blogger truth_is_freedom said...


August 14, 2005 8:05 PM  
Blogger hooey said...

It must have been embarrassing for certain people who posted regularly at "howie's" blog to find out they'd been had.

Yeah man!

Sgt USMC 1 ea
Your analysis is ironclad! I actually found it very amusing just how many libs took the bait and supported Howie's extremism. I mean, dialogue with Osama(We must talk to this man.), come on. They actually bought it. We must all work hard to see that the lefties never take power in America. Ever. May God help us if they do because we'll need it!

August 15, 2005 5:33 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

Ah, the "star" of this post/thread.

Yo! I'm still up for drinks and a discussion of your views, although apparently they are similar to my own.

Anyway, FWIW, I think you ought to keep up the satire; it's fun, and you do it well...

August 15, 2005 8:00 PM  

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